I'm sorry that I love you...
(link? xP)
(link? xP)
Monday, September 26, 2005
Sunday, September 25, 2005
The Reason Why...
The Reason Why...
it doesn't work...
he asked himself all the time ,"why it does not work?" an answer that he will never know?
Today is rather a happy day yet sad.
I picked up my happiness/fulfillment towards my career again. Yet I met a tooooo innocent person who does not know how to protect himself , he does not even know that he is hurting himself and it is also the reasons why things does not work out the way he wants to be. but why? because of their background,their brought up, or the character? does character influence one's path, or the other way around? egg first? or chicken first? i feel sorry for him that he does not know the reasons, yet i should feel happy for him that he does not know being naive hurts?
i hope he would understand the answer one day.
The answer becomes clear when he stop asking why and take a look at himself...
it doesn't work...
he asked himself all the time ,"why it does not work?" an answer that he will never know?
Today is rather a happy day yet sad.
I picked up my happiness/fulfillment towards my career again. Yet I met a tooooo innocent person who does not know how to protect himself , he does not even know that he is hurting himself and it is also the reasons why things does not work out the way he wants to be. but why? because of their background,their brought up, or the character? does character influence one's path, or the other way around? egg first? or chicken first? i feel sorry for him that he does not know the reasons, yet i should feel happy for him that he does not know being naive hurts?
i hope he would understand the answer one day.
The answer becomes clear when he stop asking why and take a look at himself...
when a heart dies
when a heart dies
" When a heart dies, it will never love someone "The gurl was sad.. as she was told by the spiritual fren.Whom heart was dead before.The gurl was having lots of problems.Her friends hated her. as they thought she was possessed.Her family hated her. as they tought she was useless.She decided to run away. as far as she could.The guy. who love her deeply. was looking for her.He shouted her name. ran . n looks for the gurl,from near to far.She was no way to be seen. he was sad.He cried. as the rain falls.He tought of the spiritual fren.He went to it. screaming n asking it to come out." no matter what! i will still love her! "" TELL me where she is now!!"" I knoe u are somewhere here! tell ME! "The spiritual fren didn't appear. no even a sound had made.*typing sound*Words appeared on a screen." She will never love someone anymore. her heart is dead "He pushed the screen. was in anger. tears rolling." She is not! and i can feel her heart.."" Tell me! where she is!!?"He was realli in anger. cries appeared. silent appeared.*typing* It was touched by what he said." When a gurl is sad. she will be at the happiest place of hers'"He smiled. and ran. so fast as he could." I'll proof u wrong. your heart is not dead "He was there. her happiest place." I know u are somewhere here! come out!Pleasee.."*silent*" I can't walk anymore.. please.. come out."He fell as he had used up his energy." I need you....... please.."Rain covered his tears..The gurl appeared." I'm useless. i'm only causing you troubles "" My soul is dead. no way to love n love by someone"" Please just go away.." she was crying.The guy stood up." No, u may said so. but ur heart is not dead yet. "" i fell for ur heart. n i knew that i need u"" i want to protect u.. and i...."She hugged him suddenly. he stopped.Tears started to fall from her eyes." ..... love you. "_____ the end _____
" When a heart dies, it will never love someone "The gurl was sad.. as she was told by the spiritual fren.Whom heart was dead before.The gurl was having lots of problems.Her friends hated her. as they thought she was possessed.Her family hated her. as they tought she was useless.She decided to run away. as far as she could.The guy. who love her deeply. was looking for her.He shouted her name. ran . n looks for the gurl,from near to far.She was no way to be seen. he was sad.He cried. as the rain falls.He tought of the spiritual fren.He went to it. screaming n asking it to come out." no matter what! i will still love her! "" TELL me where she is now!!"" I knoe u are somewhere here! tell ME! "The spiritual fren didn't appear. no even a sound had made.*typing sound*Words appeared on a screen." She will never love someone anymore. her heart is dead "He pushed the screen. was in anger. tears rolling." She is not! and i can feel her heart.."" Tell me! where she is!!?"He was realli in anger. cries appeared. silent appeared.*typing* It was touched by what he said." When a gurl is sad. she will be at the happiest place of hers'"He smiled. and ran. so fast as he could." I'll proof u wrong. your heart is not dead "He was there. her happiest place." I know u are somewhere here! come out!Pleasee.."*silent*" I can't walk anymore.. please.. come out."He fell as he had used up his energy." I need you....... please.."Rain covered his tears..The gurl appeared." I'm useless. i'm only causing you troubles "" My soul is dead. no way to love n love by someone"" Please just go away.." she was crying.The guy stood up." No, u may said so. but ur heart is not dead yet. "" i fell for ur heart. n i knew that i need u"" i want to protect u.. and i...."She hugged him suddenly. he stopped.Tears started to fall from her eyes." ..... love you. "_____ the end _____
blog at school~
Blog at School
Hi Hi everyoneeee, if there is any one whoes reading now, I would like to Wave at you, hahah ^^". Right now, it's 11:54am. I'm blogging in school, computer lab. Well, there is nothing much for me to do since my teacher's not teaching anything when we're having our computer perioud in the lab. Nothing special today, I just drew something new on my paper during the Malay and the Maths period. I'm not trying to be unconcentrate in the class, just that... Malay teacher didn't come today, so we have relief perioud. During the maths period, I'm always blur with what the teacher is teaching, so I rather learn it my self than listen to her class, but she's quite cool with it tho~ hahah xP well~ I guess I would hardly blog in bravejournal, kinda lazy, hahah xP forgive me about that... I might blog maybe once few months? hahah~ (don't scold me, burt = =")
I got this news yesterday, that my cousin wanna go Singapore during the holiday of Deember, and she ask me to go with her too. But we have to work for somewhere to make some money, it's for the tickets and for the numbers to spend there. We'll only go there for 5 days, 28 December to 1 January... she wanted to go with the boyfriend, and I was thinking to ask Vin go also xP, can I? But you must have to work also, hehehe~ Mary ( my cousin) is taking the form today, I mean the form of the part time job... it's like... 20 dollars 8 hours. I guess it's quite high, isn't it? cool~ I wish I could make it! =D blog it up here, so that I won't forgot what I wanna do xD Oh wait... take care everyone! =D
Hi Hi everyoneeee, if there is any one whoes reading now, I would like to Wave at you, hahah ^^". Right now, it's 11:54am. I'm blogging in school, computer lab. Well, there is nothing much for me to do since my teacher's not teaching anything when we're having our computer perioud in the lab. Nothing special today, I just drew something new on my paper during the Malay and the Maths period. I'm not trying to be unconcentrate in the class, just that... Malay teacher didn't come today, so we have relief perioud. During the maths period, I'm always blur with what the teacher is teaching, so I rather learn it my self than listen to her class, but she's quite cool with it tho~ hahah xP well~ I guess I would hardly blog in bravejournal, kinda lazy, hahah xP forgive me about that... I might blog maybe once few months? hahah~ (don't scold me, burt = =")
I got this news yesterday, that my cousin wanna go Singapore during the holiday of Deember, and she ask me to go with her too. But we have to work for somewhere to make some money, it's for the tickets and for the numbers to spend there. We'll only go there for 5 days, 28 December to 1 January... she wanted to go with the boyfriend, and I was thinking to ask Vin go also xP, can I? But you must have to work also, hehehe~ Mary ( my cousin) is taking the form today, I mean the form of the part time job... it's like... 20 dollars 8 hours. I guess it's quite high, isn't it? cool~ I wish I could make it! =D blog it up here, so that I won't forgot what I wanna do xD Oh wait... take care everyone! =D
blog at school~
Blog at School
Hi Hi everyoneeee, if there is any one whoes reading now, I would like to Wave at you, hahah ^^". Right now, it's 11:54am. I'm blogging in school, computer lab. Well, there is nothing much for me to do since my teacher's not teaching anything when we're having our computer perioud in the lab. Nothing special today, I just drew something new on my paper during the Malay and the Maths period. I'm not trying to be unconcentrate in the class, just that... Malay teacher didn't come today, so we have relief perioud. During the maths period, I'm always blur with what the teacher is teaching, so I rather learn it my self than listen to her class, but she's quite cool with it tho~ hahah xP well~ I guess I would hardly blog in bravejournal, kinda lazy, hahah xP forgive me about that... I might blog maybe once few months? hahah~ (don't scold me, burt = =")
I got this news yesterday, that my cousin wanna go Singapore during the holiday of Deember, and she ask me to go with her too. But we have to work for somewhere to make some money, it's for the tickets and for the numbers to spend there. We'll only go there for 5 days, 28 December to 1 January... she wanted to go with the boyfriend, and I was thinking to ask Vin go also xP, can I? But you must have to work also, hehehe~ Mary ( my cousin) is taking the form today, I mean the form of the part time job... it's like... 20 dollars 8 hours. I guess it's quite high, isn't it? cool~ I wish I could make it! =D blog it up here, so that I won't forgot what I wanna do xD Oh wait... take care everyone! =D
Hi Hi everyoneeee, if there is any one whoes reading now, I would like to Wave at you, hahah ^^". Right now, it's 11:54am. I'm blogging in school, computer lab. Well, there is nothing much for me to do since my teacher's not teaching anything when we're having our computer perioud in the lab. Nothing special today, I just drew something new on my paper during the Malay and the Maths period. I'm not trying to be unconcentrate in the class, just that... Malay teacher didn't come today, so we have relief perioud. During the maths period, I'm always blur with what the teacher is teaching, so I rather learn it my self than listen to her class, but she's quite cool with it tho~ hahah xP well~ I guess I would hardly blog in bravejournal, kinda lazy, hahah xP forgive me about that... I might blog maybe once few months? hahah~ (don't scold me, burt = =")
I got this news yesterday, that my cousin wanna go Singapore during the holiday of Deember, and she ask me to go with her too. But we have to work for somewhere to make some money, it's for the tickets and for the numbers to spend there. We'll only go there for 5 days, 28 December to 1 January... she wanted to go with the boyfriend, and I was thinking to ask Vin go also xP, can I? But you must have to work also, hehehe~ Mary ( my cousin) is taking the form today, I mean the form of the part time job... it's like... 20 dollars 8 hours. I guess it's quite high, isn't it? cool~ I wish I could make it! =D blog it up here, so that I won't forgot what I wanna do xD Oh wait... take care everyone! =D
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Friday, September 23, 2005
Whoots~ =D
It's Coming...
Hahah... yesh~ today is quite fun, in school and after school, I'll blog about it in MW =D. Here... I started to be alittle bit and alittle abit harder-working, I'm not going to fail this year. I told myself about that. No wait, should say... I'm Not going to fail or repeat ANY of year @@" I don't want to make my family feel shame because of me. Hmmm~ I'm still abit lazy, but trying to complete all my work as CLEAN as possible xP I aim my results for final exam...
Chinese- at least cannot less than 80%
English- at least 60% to 70%? ^^" i wanna get improve! >.<>=)
Science- at least 55% to above @@" I dunno how am i gonna work for it xP
Geography- at least 60% to 70% i don't wanna disappoint my dearest teacher Karen =3
History- erm.... okay at least 50% to 60% @@" I never study for it xP
B.Malay- Wow! This! hahah xD I will try to get a pass for it = =" 50%?
Computer- at least 60% to 70%~
M.I.B- I'll try to get it pass @@"
Jawi- Yesh I'll make it pass xD jawi is quite okay for me~ heheheh xP how bout 10/20 ? xD
Commerce- know why I put this at last? cos I don't plan to pass this subject~ well~ xP
Aha~ ^^" I know the aim for the result is quite low~ but I'll try~ maybe I'll got it even worse = =" I hope don't? @@" hahah~ Final exam is coming, what you guys aim for the result? =3 no matter what you aim for~ wish you guys good luck during exam~! Ganbate-yo~ =D
Hahah... yesh~ today is quite fun, in school and after school, I'll blog about it in MW =D. Here... I started to be alittle bit and alittle abit harder-working, I'm not going to fail this year. I told myself about that. No wait, should say... I'm Not going to fail or repeat ANY of year @@" I don't want to make my family feel shame because of me. Hmmm~ I'm still abit lazy, but trying to complete all my work as CLEAN as possible xP I aim my results for final exam...
Chinese- at least cannot less than 80%
English- at least 60% to 70%? ^^" i wanna get improve! >.<>=)
Science- at least 55% to above @@" I dunno how am i gonna work for it xP
Geography- at least 60% to 70% i don't wanna disappoint my dearest teacher Karen =3
History- erm.... okay at least 50% to 60% @@" I never study for it xP
B.Malay- Wow! This! hahah xD I will try to get a pass for it = =" 50%?
Computer- at least 60% to 70%~
M.I.B- I'll try to get it pass @@"
Jawi- Yesh I'll make it pass xD jawi is quite okay for me~ heheheh xP how bout 10/20 ? xD
Commerce- know why I put this at last? cos I don't plan to pass this subject~ well~ xP
Aha~ ^^" I know the aim for the result is quite low~ but I'll try~ maybe I'll got it even worse = =" I hope don't? @@" hahah~ Final exam is coming, what you guys aim for the result? =3 no matter what you aim for~ wish you guys good luck during exam~! Ganbate-yo~ =D
Sunday, September 18, 2005
the new layout~!
Tales Weaver
hahah xD this title is for my layout~ my Beloved online game~ well, miss it alot since my last computer reformatted... if youre wondering what it is~ you can have a view from http://tw.digicell.com.tw/ or http://www.talesweaver.co.kr/. This game is originally from Korean, and Taiwan transfered it to chinese version. Here I show the picture of the characters...
this is the side of The imperial family organizes, -=Kingdom of Hawk=- from the first... Lucian Kaltx, second... Boris Jineman, third... Tichiel Juspian, and the last... Mila Nebraska~ I tried four of them, but I only concentrate on Tichiel Juspian. She's an magician, a white magic magician, a Cool Magician... but she has her weak health... kinda difficult for me to train T.T...
And this side... -=Shade of Ash=- The mercenary soldier organizes, fromt the first, my favourite character Ispin Charles, she's a Cool girl~ that I train her until 43~ and I'm kinda lazy to continue to train her again since she's soooooooooooooooooooo hard to level up T.T well~ but I still love her xD the second person... Maximin Liebkne, I think he got abit mantal problem @@" hahah xD but he's a great magician tho~ and Yesh! Nayatrei! she's cool too! she has her both knives in her hand, and fast speed and her this friend... Jivelin Uoo, Yesh his hair! I love his hair! but he's kinda slow in speed = ="
Hahah, you can just click on any of them and have a view of the character xD
hahah xD this title is for my layout~ my Beloved online game~ well, miss it alot since my last computer reformatted... if youre wondering what it is~ you can have a view from http://tw.digicell.com.tw/ or http://www.talesweaver.co.kr/. This game is originally from Korean, and Taiwan transfered it to chinese version. Here I show the picture of the characters...
this is the side of The imperial family organize
And this side... -=Shade of Ash=- The mercenary soldier organizes,
Hahah, you can just click on any of them and have a view of the character xD
Owwch my teeth pain! T.T
ah~ well~ normal day~
First here~ Arigatou Gozaimasu-ne Vin~ for doing the layout for me =3 and now the layout you guys are looking at~ hmmm~ It's done by Vin~ All done by himmmmmmmmm xD Look how great his job is~ kekeke xP *HuGzzzzz*
okay right... ummm... it's 10:52pm now... I feel kinda lazy to do anything~ no, I mean, I'm bored that I couldn't do anything, Vin went offline before 8:30pm, well it was pretty early thought after that I have a short phone conversation with him and hmmm... when I back to my room, I found someone else was in my room~ it was my dearest cousin, Ah Ping arh~ = =" well~ he's msg-ing his darling thru internet again~ hahah~ sometimes I'm kinda curious that why Malaysia digi can msg thru internet but Brunei cannot? Maybe Brunei is still too slow? hmmmm~ I think I'm right tho xD Sory Pam and Burt~ that i didn't get to msg you guys so fast cos he was using my computer >< already =" ="">< me =" ="" hours =" ="" online =" ="" soon ="D">< everyone ="D
First here~ Arigatou Gozaimasu-ne Vin~ for doing the layout for me =3 and now the layout you guys are looking at~ hmmm~ It's done by Vin~ All done by himmmmmmmmm xD Look how great his job is~ kekeke xP *HuGzzzzz*
okay right... ummm... it's 10:52pm now... I feel kinda lazy to do anything~ no, I mean, I'm bored that I couldn't do anything, Vin went offline before 8:30pm, well it was pretty early thought after that I have a short phone conversation with him and hmmm... when I back to my room, I found someone else was in my room~ it was my dearest cousin, Ah Ping arh~ = =" well~ he's msg-ing his darling thru internet again~ hahah~ sometimes I'm kinda curious that why Malaysia digi can msg thru internet but Brunei cannot? Maybe Brunei is still too slow? hmmmm~ I think I'm right tho xD Sory Pam and Burt~ that i didn't get to msg you guys so fast cos he was using my computer >< already =" ="">< me =" ="" hours =" ="" online =" ="" soon ="D">< everyone ="D
Thursday, September 15, 2005
late... nightkat xD
Sorry for late >.<
Well, I'm blogging right now... feel like blogging~ so yeah~ Here I am to blog right now xP hahah~ sorry Vin, came back late @@" just came back, right now it's 12:50... really sorry to Vin and Tan~ don't worry... I didn't get lost @@" still alive, so yeah~ hehehe~ was playing with Pamela them just now, actually now playing, just sit down there and watch them playing pool in Jubilee. Was suppose to be at home by 10 something, but they went to have supper in Jub instead, So we just sit there and chit-chat, and know some friends... James, Roger, YanChuan, Fukok, and know HanWen abit better, and the other ones... I forgot his nameeee! Ooo so sorryyyy >.<>< again =" ="" eye =" ="" wrongly =" ="" also =" ="" me =" ="" movie =" ="">< me ="3" again =" ="" today =" ="" stomach ="=""><) I don't want her to get angry so I told her that Pamela's car is coming, don't worry. But FuKok them come around 10 to 11 something instead = =" went to have supper at Jub, and play upstairs until just now... hahah ^^" well~ I guess this is the second time I come home after 12 midnight @@" my mom scolded me lightly that if I come back this late again, then she won't allow me to go out at night time next time = =" so yeah, try not to play that late again = =" hahah xP it's 2:09 right now @@" I didn't know that I would be here so long xP hahah~ I guess it's time to come to the end of this entry since I have nothing much to blog again... and hmmm... sorry to Vin for today... don't ask why xP heheh~ hmmm~ Night nights~ sleep tight everyones =3 sweet dream ^-^ *gone to sleep...... ZzzzzZzzzz.....*
Well, I'm blogging right now... feel like blogging~ so yeah~ Here I am to blog right now xP hahah~ sorry Vin, came back late @@" just came back, right now it's 12:50... really sorry to Vin and Tan~ don't worry... I didn't get lost @@" still alive, so yeah~ hehehe~ was playing with Pamela them just now, actually now playing, just sit down there and watch them playing pool in Jubilee. Was suppose to be at home by 10 something, but they went to have supper in Jub instead, So we just sit there and chit-chat, and know some friends... James, Roger, YanChuan, Fukok, and know HanWen abit better, and the other ones... I forgot his nameeee! Ooo so sorryyyy >.<>< again =" ="" eye =" ="" wrongly =" ="" also =" ="" me =" ="" movie =" ="">< me ="3" again =" ="" today =" ="" stomach ="=""><) I don't want her to get angry so I told her that Pamela's car is coming, don't worry. But FuKok them come around 10 to 11 something instead = =" went to have supper at Jub, and play upstairs until just now... hahah ^^" well~ I guess this is the second time I come home after 12 midnight @@" my mom scolded me lightly that if I come back this late again, then she won't allow me to go out at night time next time = =" so yeah, try not to play that late again = =" hahah xP it's 2:09 right now @@" I didn't know that I would be here so long xP hahah~ I guess it's time to come to the end of this entry since I have nothing much to blog again... and hmmm... sorry to Vin for today... don't ask why xP heheh~ hmmm~ Night nights~ sleep tight everyones =3 sweet dream ^-^ *gone to sleep...... ZzzzzZzzzz.....*
Thursday, September 01, 2005
A shattered promise, a shattered friendship...
A shattered promise, a shattered friendship...
Alrights... for some reasons came to this title, just guess there are loads that I feel like wanna let off from my mind, and just... I guess this would be a better place for me to unload it? I don't know why not Mugen-wishes?? Why not my Bravejournal?? Hmmm... Hahah, ask my brain @@" And um... Honestly, it's not an easy job for me to unload the loads that I'm having in my brain... Cos I always having questions in my brain, some suspects, some problems... I've get used to hiding thing in side my self... most probably some stranger would read this entry but yeah... I wouldn't mind as long as they don't give a damn on me =b Maybe this entry would be long enough for you to scroll and scroll and scroll the scroll bar down. Or maybe it would just last a few paragraphs? Who knows? haha xP
Right now I'm standing while typing on the keyboard, looking "down" to the screen and keyboard. It's tired enough for me to type cos I have to straighten my hand and fingers to point on the keyboard and I think my neck's hurt? Hahah xd What to do? Nobody's online right now, except me and... Um... yeah burt didn't online either. Vin, Manzy, Pam, Jessie, and Aby went for the retreat in school, the retreat will be finish on tomorrow, so yeah~ I'm chatting with no one by this time, loL~ and burt cant be going out these few days, i guess? =S too bad~ I was thinking to go out with him, Vin, Zy, Irene, and~ ummm~ some more people would be nicer... strange, isn't it? I don't really like to go out if too many people going, honestly. But I would rather go out with those peeps~ It don't seem like the person that I used to be. But yeah, only them, I suppose? hahah~
So here, we back to the topic..."A shattered promise, a shattered friendship"
"What does true friends means?" I've been thinking this question since I was turning 14 or 15... which I was still a primary student. Yes, primary student, don't get surprised at what I just said. I've got transferred from place to place... and I got my level lower down when I came here, Brunei, in Chung Hwa Middle School (CHMS). Due to the reason that I don't have any knowledge in Bahasa Malayu and English either. And um... before that, I never think of that, cos I thought friends are the most important things in my life.
I have the childhood that just likes a nightmare and you would never want to have it. Family was okay but not in school. Friends playing around with my family name "SER" (in Chinese) and "Snake" were what they referred to although my sir name isn't a Snake, it just Sound like snake. And simply, "snake monster" was what they called me. And treated me like as if the snake poison is really on my body, cannot be touched, don't allowed me to touch them, don't even wanna come near me, shame to know me, and used me although I don't know what was the advantage on using me, maybe come to me only when there're bored? And I even treated unjustly by one of the friend that I trust,is a guy... okay okay, lessay I treated everyone as like my nice friend when I was young, pretty stupid, I know. I was not a good temper girl but I still think that friendship is like... "all the people around are my friends," and I that found I was wrong when I was turning 14 or 15. And that I finally found that why would my ex-admire (when I was around that age and he was um... 15 to 16, if I didn't make mistake?) said that "maybe no one was his best friend." He was the type of deep-thinking-guy, so I couldn't tell why he said that, or maybe my mind was still like a child? Hmmm... And yeah, I still remember that I was surprised to heard someone don't have any best friend. I thought everyone would at least have one best friend in this world, I asked him why not? He said reasonless... =S When I realize what he meants, I only found that I was too naive to know everything...
I have this friend, okay um... I'll name her P, and this friend, I'll name him R, and my god brother from aussie, um... lets name him C, all the words are taken from their initial back name. P and R are both my friend in CHMS, P did something that's unforgivable, you know what? She said that she WILL wait for C to come back after his study in aussie, and she even swear or promise that. But she separated with him after a few months, okay fine maybe it doesn't make a big deal, cos she might be tired cos hey far distance is not easy; she was strong enough to make it already. But in fact, she went for another guy which was R instead. C hasn't known that, but he could tell that P separated with him, is not because of she need more time on studies, or tired of this far distance relationship. She breaks the promise that she made to C.
Sometimes I wonder what they define friendship this tiny thing? I see the weird examples in this world. Some people could even betray their best friend simply because of earning money or something; some people could just left the friend aside when they got into a relationship and etc etc. There are some girls in our class, they could just get angry because of some tiny problems, like, some small lies... and the one whoes name Jo (not the Jo but the Jo my classmate), just break the friendship and threw away all the things that she had the same with the Leen... Hey come and think about it, everyone lies, I admit I lie for something too, what's the big deal about it? Would friendship just easily break like that? C'mon, that's childish! Can't they think of it? we're already in form two, old enough to think properly aren't we? Jeez...
Alrights... for some reasons came to this title, just guess there are loads that I feel like wanna let off from my mind, and just... I guess this would be a better place for me to unload it? I don't know why not Mugen-wishes?? Why not my Bravejournal?? Hmmm... Hahah, ask my brain @@" And um... Honestly, it's not an easy job for me to unload the loads that I'm having in my brain... Cos I always having questions in my brain, some suspects, some problems... I've get used to hiding thing in side my self... most probably some stranger would read this entry but yeah... I wouldn't mind as long as they don't give a damn on me =b Maybe this entry would be long enough for you to scroll and scroll and scroll the scroll bar down. Or maybe it would just last a few paragraphs? Who knows? haha xP
Right now I'm standing while typing on the keyboard, looking "down" to the screen and keyboard. It's tired enough for me to type cos I have to straighten my hand and fingers to point on the keyboard and I think my neck's hurt? Hahah xd What to do? Nobody's online right now, except me and... Um... yeah burt didn't online either. Vin, Manzy, Pam, Jessie, and Aby went for the retreat in school, the retreat will be finish on tomorrow, so yeah~ I'm chatting with no one by this time, loL~ and burt cant be going out these few days, i guess? =S too bad~ I was thinking to go out with him, Vin, Zy, Irene, and~ ummm~ some more people would be nicer... strange, isn't it? I don't really like to go out if too many people going, honestly. But I would rather go out with those peeps~ It don't seem like the person that I used to be. But yeah, only them, I suppose? hahah~
So here, we back to the topic..."A shattered promise, a shattered friendship"
"What does true friends means?" I've been thinking this question since I was turning 14 or 15... which I was still a primary student. Yes, primary student, don't get surprised at what I just said. I've got transferred from place to place... and I got my level lower down when I came here, Brunei, in Chung Hwa Middle School (CHMS). Due to the reason that I don't have any knowledge in Bahasa Malayu and English either. And um... before that, I never think of that, cos I thought friends are the most important things in my life.
I have the childhood that just likes a nightmare and you would never want to have it. Family was okay but not in school. Friends playing around with my family name "SER" (in Chinese) and "Snake" were what they referred to although my sir name isn't a Snake, it just Sound like snake. And simply, "snake monster" was what they called me. And treated me like as if the snake poison is really on my body, cannot be touched, don't allowed me to touch them, don't even wanna come near me, shame to know me, and used me although I don't know what was the advantage on using me, maybe come to me only when there're bored? And I even treated unjustly by one of the friend that I trust,is a guy... okay okay, lessay I treated everyone as like my nice friend when I was young, pretty stupid, I know. I was not a good temper girl but I still think that friendship is like... "all the people around are my friends," and I that found I was wrong when I was turning 14 or 15. And that I finally found that why would my ex-admire (when I was around that age and he was um... 15 to 16, if I didn't make mistake?) said that "maybe no one was his best friend." He was the type of deep-thinking-guy, so I couldn't tell why he said that, or maybe my mind was still like a child? Hmmm... And yeah, I still remember that I was surprised to heard someone don't have any best friend. I thought everyone would at least have one best friend in this world, I asked him why not? He said reasonless... =S When I realize what he meants, I only found that I was too naive to know everything...
I have this friend, okay um... I'll name her P, and this friend, I'll name him R, and my god brother from aussie, um... lets name him C, all the words are taken from their initial back name. P and R are both my friend in CHMS, P did something that's unforgivable, you know what? She said that she WILL wait for C to come back after his study in aussie, and she even swear or promise that. But she separated with him after a few months, okay fine maybe it doesn't make a big deal, cos she might be tired cos hey far distance is not easy; she was strong enough to make it already. But in fact, she went for another guy which was R instead. C hasn't known that, but he could tell that P separated with him, is not because of she need more time on studies, or tired of this far distance relationship. She breaks the promise that she made to C.
Sometimes I wonder what they define friendship this tiny thing? I see the weird examples in this world. Some people could even betray their best friend simply because of earning money or something; some people could just left the friend aside when they got into a relationship and etc etc. There are some girls in our class, they could just get angry because of some tiny problems, like, some small lies... and the one whoes name Jo (not the Jo but the Jo my classmate), just break the friendship and threw away all the things that she had the same with the Leen... Hey come and think about it, everyone lies, I admit I lie for something too, what's the big deal about it? Would friendship just easily break like that? C'mon, that's childish! Can't they think of it? we're already in form two, old enough to think properly aren't we? Jeez...
Oops!!!
WhOopsss~!!! I just found that Irene added this in her link already~~~ O.o hahah >.< align="CENTER">*-EnD-*
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)